This story is about an interview with a “Self Proclaimed Vampire” who would like to remain un-named as “Charizard”
“We met at a safe coffee place and I took garlic just in case.” -Viva
Do not ask me why he chose Charizard as his pseudo name. I am still trying to figure out if he likes Pokemon or Yugi-Oh, so bear with me. Is he really is a real Vampire? Or Is he just a self-made vampire? Let’s see…
Viva: Hello. First of all, do you suck blood?
Charizard: Hahaha, Of Course…NOT!
Viva: Then what are you doing wasting my time?
Charizard: I do not drink blood, that is what I meant. I simply feed off of energy and heal others.
Viva: [Sings Energy by Drake]….. What type of energy do you mean Charizard?
Charizard: Etheric energy.
Viva: [A little confused and trying to be understanding] What is etheric energy? People want to know.
Charizard: Etheric energy is a life force that is all around us. It is unseen by the human eye. Let’s say it is dark matter. Let’s say that this is what holds the Universe together.
Viva: You are not a vampire, you are a scientist Sir.
Charizard: I can be anything you want me to be M’am.
Viva: I am not interested in a husband right now Sir.
Charizard: Neither Am I.
Viva: You get me off the topic Charizard. Just get to the point please. I need to write about a Vampire and not about fairytales mixed with Soup.
Charizard: [Uncontrollably Laughs] Hahahaha^100th Power
Viva: Ok. Let me take control and do the questioning… So are you from Brownsville Texas?
Charizard: No, I like to work and live here.
Viva: What do you do for a living Sir?
Charizard: It is not the time to tell you.
Viva: [Roll my eyes] If you think that I am interested in knowing your job because all the women that you meet only care about your job because they want to secure their future, then you are a terrible vampire.
Viva: Anyways? Would you say that you are immortal?
Charizard: I could say Maybe.
Viva: You are very strange sir. Anyways, does Silver (Ag) hurt you?
Charizard: Not at all, haha!
Viva: [My eyes wide opened] So my garlic has no effect on you either?
Charizard: I don’t even like garlic! What do you even mean.
Viva: Umm yeah, I brought some garlic in my purse…just in case. It turns out you hate it. I hate it too. It is untasty to my palate.We are even. Next question? Why would a Vampire like to live in Brownsville?
Charizard: Because I feel like it.
Viva: You are being rude, bipolar, and strange. Are all vampires like that?
Charizard: All I can say is that we have lived so much.
Viva: Sir, you look 30? So Shut up. What have you even lived? Can I see an Id and verify your age?
Charizard: Why do you even call me sir?
Viva: I just want to be polite. Unfortunately, You are getting on my last nerve.
Charizard: You make me go crazy too.
Viva: It was not my intention. It is just that you are very strange. I am trying my best at being educated. You are being naïve. All I wanted was to interview a goddam vampire. Who was the one to contact me and not the other way around. Do you need attention? A girlfriend? A cookie? What are you!
Charizard: You have your interview with a goddam vampire. I tried to make it polite but maybe it is you who needs a goddam boyfriend who gives You goddam attention and a lot of cookies.
Viva: Haha! You are Hilarious goddam Charizard. Thank you for the interview. This is more than enough. Oh and thank you for not draining my life energy. I will do the rest of my duty to provide a link to people on wikipedia so they can know for themselves what a vampire is because you just did not provide me with much information. Oh, please tell your vampire community online to stop writing with boring black templates, it hurts our eyes so much!
Charizard: That is my job and, You are always welcomed. [He winked]
Viva: Mean Vampire!
Websites for vampire info: