This depiction is the sad reality of my insomnia and Ativan dependency. I do not wish this upon anybody. I wish there was a cure for this ailment. Racing thoughts and my florid imagination won’t leave me alone at night no matter what. I have to sit down and brainstorm everything in paper in order for my mind to feel at ease, but still, something stays lingering on the back of my mind and I will never know what it is.
It is at nights when I my mind works best and everything comes to life. Oh God! I want to fall asleep like a baby, but my mind won’t allow this. Sometimes I get desperate to find an exit to this curse.
At times I wish this pain was non existent; it eats my soul away. Getting a full 6-7 hours of sleep would be heaven for me. It is always 4-5 hours of sleep or a full 12 hours straight; none are fun. I pray that one day I’ll fall asleep without this brain numbing pills.
The best I can do Is make a use of this imagination that ignites at night like TnT dynamite. With that said, I just took my melatonin, my ambien, and my ativan. Bonne nuit.